Chia Head
by Nehszriah
Summary: The product of random conversation between siblings addicted to One Piece. We take the marimo head taunt into our own hands.


Nehszriah: I do not own One Piece, nor do I own the idea for this story!

Zanbato: That's because I inspired it! Me and all my glory! -heroic pose-

Nehszriah: -rolls eyes- Whatever. This short fiction is just something that started because of a conversation between my good ol' yonger brother Zan-kun and me. Oh, we also don't own the concept of Chia Pets. Some other person does.

Zanbato: Also... this has **NO PAIRINGS**! You yaoi people are creepy. -shudders- Sis, that includes you.

Nehszriah: -sticks out tongue at brother- Please read and review. I know it stinks, but please let us know how you like it.

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Chia Head

Luffy walked into the galley and sat down with a box at the table. Happily, the captain hummed a merry tune to himself as he clumsily opened the cardboard container and relieved it of its contents. Sanji watched out of the corner of his eye while he beat the batter he was preparing for some cookies. The box had yielded some interesting objects. There was a clay head, a package of... something... and a bunch of instructions on a large piece of paper.

"What do you have there Luffy?" he asked, worried since the boy was not nagging him for meat.

"I got it when we were in town the other day!" Luffy said happily. "It's called a 'Chia Pet'."

"Were you swindled again?" Sanji whined.

"No! If I do this thing right, I'm supposed to get a plant to grow out of this clay thing!" Luffy held up the clay bust in Sanji's face.

"A plant?" A curly eyebrow raised.

"Yeah! All I need is a bowl, water and some dirt! Do we have dirt Sanji?"

"Go get a small handful from one of the mikan trees' pots," the cook sighed. He went back to his cookies and just placed them in the oven when Luffy walked back into the galley, covered from head to toe in dirt.

"Here we are Sanji!" Luffy said as he placed a lump of dirt on the table next to the clay head and paper packet. The blond man shivered at the mere fact that there was filth in his kitchen, but then again, he would have to bar Zoro from coming in if he was going to get picky.

"Right then," he muttered, placing the bowl and a pitcher of water on the table. Sanji watched carefully as Luffy smothered the ridges in the clay head with wet dirt and then sprinkled the contents of the packet onto the dirt. Deciding that the packet contained seeds, Sanji lit a fresh cigarette and took a long drag as Luffy sloppily poured the water in the bowl and then placed the bust in the water.

"Now we wait!" Luffy announced, gingerly picking up the bowl and putting it by the window. He then merrily walked out, intent on going and finding someone to play with.

Sanji released his drag with a long sigh as he stared at the mess that his captain just made. Moist dirt was everywhere. He had to clean it up before dinner.

"Stupid Luffy. What's so great about this 'Chia Pet' thing anyways?"

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Zoro looked around the deck. No one was in sight. No Nami mapping, nor Nico reading nor Sanji flirting nor Luffy playing nor Chopper experimenting nor Usopp... being Usopp. Everything was quiet. Too quiet.

"What in the name of Gol D. Roger is going on?" he muttered, putting down his stick of weights. Wiping the sweat off his brow with a towel, he went down under the deck to see where everyone was. To this surprise, the remainder of the crew was in the galley, all milling about the table.

"What's going on?" he asked. Everyone turned around and smiled at him.

"Nothing," Usopp said on the verge of hysteric laughter.

"Come see Zoro! Look at my Chia Pet!" Luffy said happily, taking Zoro by the wrist and leading him over to the table. He grinned and pointed to the clay bust he had covered in dirt and seeds a week earlier. Now it was covered in a light green grassy plant that seemed strangely familiar to the swordsman.

"Look at it marimo-head, it's you," Sanji grinned, chuckling next to Nami.

"Now that you mention it," Nico snickered, "it does bear a striking resemblance to Swordsman-san. The skin even matches." She sprouted a hand from the table and lifted the Chia Pet up so that it was nose-to-nose with Zoro.

"Yeesh! Get that thing away from me!" Zoro sneered, stepping back. He did have to admit, the clay did look similar to his bronzed skin in color, but hated being compared to a stupid plant. Zoro stormed out of the galley, muttering about how he should be training.

"Silly Zoro," Nami giggled. She took a black marker and wrote on the clay head's forehead in bold katakana "zo" and "ro", making it official.

Zoro looks like a Chia Pet.


End file.
